For some people, healing means their capacity for discomfort expands. They’re able to sit with more, feel more, hold more without shutting down.
But for others, healing actually looks like a decrease in their capacity for discomfort, and that can feel confusing.
Why does this happen?
Because many of us have spent years managing our discomfort through survival strategies—overworking, avoidance, people-pleasing, distraction, addiction, control. These mechanisms kept us going, kept us safe in their own way. But when we begin to heal, those strategies often start to loosen their grip. The protective layers fall away. And when that happens, the feelings we once pushed down—grief, fear, anger, loneliness—start to rise to the surface.
So if you're in a season where you're feeling more, not less—if your system feels tender or raw or overwhelmed—it doesn't mean you're broken, or that your healing isn’t working.
It means you’re in the middle of it.
You’re in that sacred and uncomfortable in-between... between who you were and who you're becoming.
So my message to you is simple:
1) Keep going.
2) Don’t stop until you feel like you can fully be with yourself. Until it feels safe to be you.
3) It does get better. You can, and will, and do learn to BE.
