Exactly a week ago, on Monday morning
I woke up in a large villa in Italy
It was quiet
Not just a quiet in sound... that I was used to (we do times of silence on the retreat, so most mornings are really still) but a stillness in energy.

The sun was shining bright, and I saw the pool glittering in the sunlight from my bedroom window (I slept with the blinds wide open)

I went to take a shower and enjoyed the last one in Tuscany, with the window open, with a view of the most expansive rolling hills.

I knew I would finish packing and go downstairs soon to meet Chani, where we would gather all my little things from around the house: the crystals, the pretty things I had brought from home, my notebooks, and pack them up to leave.

A part of me was hit with "wow, that just happened. It was even more miraculous than I could have ever imagined. How does one process the most grounded infinity they have ever experienced?"

Another part of me felt practical, in flow, present, not processing at all, just Being.

I worked the steps, as I do: " I am aware that I am aware. I feel raw, human, free, whelmed. I am the steward of my own energy. I create life, space, and faith. I am the possibility in the universe. I am that I am. "

I got dressed and sat for a few minutes in the chair that I sat in as the role of the "leader". No one there, just me, the sun, and God. It felt relieving, quiet, contemplative, free

As we were leaving, the cleaner from Sri Lanka asked me with Google Translate through his phone, "I've been watching your ministry, do you cure diseases?"
I felt both a laugh and a breath get caught in my throat. Is this my life? Definitely a plot twist.

I told him: Just believe in God with all your heart. Be kind to yourself and others. I then thanked Hashem in my heart for his boundless generosity. Chani laughed and said, "You've become quite the Shlucha." I laughed and said, "From not being Chabad to this embodiment- pretty wild!"

Then we went off to Rome to have delicious Gelato and pasta that my usually nondairy/non-gluten-eating self would not have in the U.S.

And that's on Integration.