Yesterday, I opened up Instagram while in an Uber, ready to start my day and I saw the news. It was the first time in my life when I viscerally felt a need for a "trigger warning." It was a moment where the ENOUGH inside got so big, and I chose to allow it to get even bigger. A wave of grief so large rolled over me that I gagged, almost vomiting. I prayed, for the Jewish people, for the world.

Today, I woke up weeping, the tears leaking out of my eyes before I even remembered what day it is, or where I am in the world.

And then I saw this photo and I felt resoluteness, awe, joy, outrage, and pain, and deep peace all at once. Am Yisrael Chai. The Jewish people live. That is a fact. That is forever. And some die, killed in unacceptable, incomprehensible ways. That is also a fact.

To feel fully is to allow ourselves to be held by a faith greater than ourselves, to allow ourselves to fully lean on God. To feel is to know with certainty beyond logic that God can hold it ALL.

To not spiritually bypass IS a way of Being strong, it is telling our bodies and spirits... we don't need to hold it in until we fall apart. We can feel as we feel it.

For those bringing light into the world with their little children or inner children this Chanukah, you are incredible beyond words.

If you feel hope, hold that hope. If you feel grief, allow the waves. If you feel joy, dance. If you feel strength, Be with it. If you are outraged, let it move through you.

We need every flavor of every human Being's authentic song in every moment. Your faith filled human choosing to feel, to Be. And your feeling can change in each moment, from weeping, to being light and comfort... it's all the same. It's choosing to channel and move and Be with energy inside you and that creates ripples in all worlds. If you feel numb, feel that too. Numb is also a feeling.

You are not your feelings, you are the soul that is YOU feeling your feelings.

Permission to trust your body now. To not suppress and then drown in all the feelings we never felt. Trust your instincts. Spread light, kindness, fire.

If you choose, let Hashem feel you 💔

Chanukah Sameach ✨ Let there be light. There already IS. Only always.