When you have standards, you stop negotiating with your intuition. You stop explaining yourself to people who benefit from you having none. You stop shrinking your needs into something more convenient. And you start listening—to the way your energy tightens when something is off, to the way your chest opens when something is aligned. To the way you breathe deep when you acknowledge who you are.

Having standards says: I don't need chaos to feel alive, I don't need to be chosen at the cost of choosing myself, I am available for depth, for honesty, for consistency, for kindness, I have reverence for myself and my soul.

I've learned that standards aren't about other people "measuring up." They're about you staying in integrity with who you already are. They're how you honor the sacredness of your time, your heart, your creativity, your inner world.

When your standards rise, your life doesn't get smaller—it gets clearer. Fewer distractions. Fewer almosts. Fewer maybes that drain you. Fewer yes when you mean no and no when you mean yes. What remains is more spacious, more true. More alignment, flow, space for Life.

You don't need to harden to have standards. You don't need to become less compassionate. In fact, real standards come from softness, from reverence, from truly honoring what real relationships need to exist: 2 whole people. From believing that love, work, friendship, and purpose are here to expand and not deplete us.

Having standards is an act of faith. Faith that what's meant for you won't require you to betray yourself to receive it. Faith that you don't have to chase what's aligned—it recognizes you. And that you don't have to be aligned with everything that desires you.

And when you live that way, you become undeniable. Not because you demand more, but because you finally stop settling for less.

Having standards is not about being "high maintenance." It's about being highly attuned. It's realizing that your nervous system is not wrong. Your desires are not random. The things that drain you are not (always) tests you're meant to pass—sometimes they are information. Standards are what happen when you stop outsourcing your worth. They're the moment you realize: Oh... I don't actually have to contort myself to be loved. I don't have to earn safety. I don't have to dilute my truth to be digestible. I get to decide what feels aligned to my body, my heart, my soul—and honor that without apology.

So many of us were taught that love means tolerance. Endurance. Flexibility at all costs. But that's not love—that's survival. Love is spacious. Love is calm. Love feels like exhaling, not bracing. Being with, not bypassing. When you have standards, you stop chasing chemistry that feels like anxiety. You stop calling inconsistency "mystery." You stop confusing intensity with intimacy. You begin to recognize that peace is not boring, it's beautiful. It's safe. It's where your creativity actually flows.

The right people don't feel restricted by your standards—they feel relieved.

I often tell my team "I welcome your No. Thank you for your boundaries." The number one thing I look for in an employee is not for someone who will "please" me but someone who has their own back. Who has a Self.

Standards are what remain when people-pleasing dissolves. You don't enforce standards with force. You honor them with consistency.

When you own your standards, interactions become more clear. Your word becomes more potent. Giving becomes a pleasure instead of a sacrifice. No means no. And ironically, you will find yourself giving way more, from a real place inside.

There is a misconception in our culture that standards are selfish. But think about passive aggressive behavior, or someone helping you who doesn't have capacity... it can be more harmful than helpful. The help we all desire is from a full heart, not a body dragging itself to a task it never wanted to commit to.

What are some standards that you desire to unapologetically stand in today?